My name is Allie
My boyfriend's name is Kyle
6.26.2013
Ask me always

 

overnight-shipping:

kittanzer0:

so on the bus this morning

we stop at a red light and this lady gets off

she goes about half a block down, and then we saw her freeze and run after the bus

SHE FORGOT HER ENTIRE BABY ON THE BUS

I love the use of the word entire as in she could have just left the leg of the baby but no she left the whole baby

dammitmishaa:

So my friend came into school one day wearing a dress that had straps and the vice principal came up to her and said “You need to either change or cover your shoulders up because it’ll distract the boys” to which she replied “Well I find boys faces distracting, do they have to cover them up?” and the vice principal said “Maybe you should focus in class more.”

If that doesn’t tell you that things are messed up, then I don’t know what does. 

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

steven-carlsburg:

meladoodle:

last christmas we bought a fake christmas tree and the guy behind the counter said to my dad ‘are you going to put it up yourself?’ and my dad said ‘dont be disgusting… im going to put it in the living room’

I BEGAN SINGING THIS AS TO THE TUNE OF “LAST CHRISTMAS” AND THEN GOT REALLY CONFUSED. 

abbeyisacartoonfreak:

zogwargqueen:

zogwargqueen:

folie-a-deuxme:

zogwargqueen:

im at starbucks right now and some other person with a mac just put this word doc into my air drop???????????????? 

image

Did you say yes

my response:

image

tHEY JUST CALLED OUT A FRAPPUCINO FOR SWAG MONEY (thats the name of my computer on airdrop) IM GONNA CR Y

image

Romance in the 21st Tumblr century

princeowl:

the worst thing you can say to someone is ‘you’re too sensitive’ because that’s basically saying ‘you feel things more deeply and fully than i do and this inconveniences me because now i have to be more mindful of my own actions’ 

you’re not too sensitive, the world is just callous and stubborn. sensitivity doesn’t make you weak and callousness doesn’t make you strong. 

they say shit like “oh just go out and buy a plane ticket to
anywhere, go live life instead of worrying about him”
but who actually has the time or the cash for that

so instead i’ve opened the college-girl manual on
how to scrub a boy out from every strand of hair
he ran his fingers through, instead i’ve started figuring out
the little things to make him wash out like
dip-dying your hair with the leftover bleach
from your sister’s kit or maybe using red kool-aid for it
so when you stand in the shower you watch thin blood-colored streams
run down your curves or maybe you learn to give your phone
to a more responsible adult when you go out to get drunk
because you kind of turn into a needy little shit (you’re
starting to worry your friends are a million times done with it)
and you start learning how to force yourself into having fun
in little thing like spooning chocolate icing out of
the container even though it’s probably definitely not healthy
but it’s better than going crazy trying to get thin again for him,
you learn not to let yourself get too introverted on rainy days because
that shit is a slippery slope right down into spending four hours
on his facebook page,
you learn to take long walks when you need to think
because that way at least you get some exercise since let’s be real
you really just want to curl up in bed and stare at a wall until
the earth crumbles around your ears, you learn to dress
hot as hell just for yourself
because you’re bammin-slammin-bootylicious,
you learn to be cool with leggings as pants despite the fact
when you were fourteen and trying too hard to be ‘alternative’ you
totally used to rage about how they’re not actually,
you learn and you grow up and you cry about it some and then you
cry about it until it feels like you’re gonna drown and then you have
a couple of days of just absolute blankness where you
kind of don’t know if you’re okay and then you have a couple of days
of being a fucking rainbow like hell yeah and then maybe you see
two people kissing and you start crying all over again and it’s okay
because you learn to stretch out in the sun and to pet every animal
you come across even if it’s something you’re kind of scared of
and you learn and you learn and you learn and you kind of end up
becoming a whole different person and this will fuck with your head
for a little whenever you see him
because part of you will want to tell him
“i’m someone completely new now, i’ve buffed out some of my
flaws and i’m pretty fucking proud” but at the same time you
don’t want to go back to where you were so you’re in this weird “do
i actually talk to him” limbo - you learn that you still feel an odd kind
of queasy when you think about him and you really wanna puke when
you see him with her but you learn to take a deep breath
and not let it ruin your night and
to make out with random guys if you’re into that and
you learn to do your homework on time and you
learn the people you can study with so you can copy from them and
you relearn how to make friends
and you learn that you’re not the only one feeling broken and
you learn to be fine without him because eventually
some part of you remembers that you’ve had a whole life without him
and you were doing pretty good beforehand and
right now you might cry all day but you’re getting better and
you’re gonna be
okay.

I’m alone again and I’m not so sure I’m ever going to be loved.” (via inkskinned)